One of my darkest memories as a kid was when my 3rd grade teacher laughed at me because my feet didn't reach the ground at my school desk. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't in the middle of class where 20 other kids joined in the humiliation. And to make it worse, the next day he brought in a little wooden footrest - which he displayed to the whole class - so that I could rest my feet on it. As a 7 year old I didn't understand the concept of being out of control of my life, but I certainly understood what humiliation was. Being humiliated is being out of control. A child has no way of steering the conversation, pulling the wheel, or navigating their way out of these 'controlled' environments.
Victims of crime can explain to us that feeling of helplessness as someone else bigger, or stronger, dictates the outcome they want. Victims of abuse know all about being out of control, where someone with the muscle, or the authority, holds all the aces. Parents know what it's like to helplessly watch their children make bad decisions, knowing there is nothing they can do about it, and knowing that only 'The School of Hard Knocks' will be the teacher. No one enjoys this feeling. Whether it's the playground, the classroom, the office, or the bedroom, no one likes to endure this powerlessness.
I believe there is built into each of us a God given desire to have control of our lives. Of course, as children we are dependant on parents and carers to protect and guide us toward our futures, but sooner or later we develop a sense that we want to see things unfold the way we want them to.
The central character of my last blog, King David of Israel, is again a prime example of having to deal with this.
One of his sons, Absalom, has decided he wants to be king instead of his father. This is no small feat, seeing he wasn't the oldest boy and the real king wasn't dead yet! The whole account is found in the Bible from 2 Samuel chapter 15, but I'll just take the highlights out of it.
Absalom was a very patient young man. Unfortunately this wasn't a good quality in him, but rather a cunning patience, with his only goal being a king in total control over his subjects. His Father, David had become king reluctantly after years of trial and hardship which taught him about human failure and compassion. But Absalom wanted only the gold, the girls, and the glory.
Absalom spent at least 4 years planning his coup, and 4 years planting doubts about the kings ability to rule the land. He spoke secretly with family leaders, bodyguards, palace officials, and anyone who would listen. He slowly but surely gave them an alternative to his father as ruler, making it look much better than it ever could have been. We've seen this in many modern day nations where some military leader gets it in his head to become President or Prime Minister, and gets the army onside and topples the government. Absalom did this same thing, except he did it over a longer period of time without the violence.
One day when he felt he had the numbers and the support he made his move. He had positioned significant people around the country to proclaim his Kingship at the same time, thereby toppling his father.
But Absalom hadn't factored in 2 important things: 1. There were many people in the nation who would remain faithful to the chosen king. And 2. His father trusted the God of heaven over and above his own ability to remain king. King David makes a baffling decision recorded in chapter 15 verse 14 (Baffling to some people, that is) - He leaves the Capital. He knew that his son would resort to violence to enforce his rule so David leaves, and thereby sparing the population a war. (Can you imagine if this principle were used both in the home, and all the way to the world political scene? It makes me realise how powerful Jesus' words were when He said, "Blessed are those who make peace" Matthew 5). Some of his faithful military people told him to stay and fight for what was rightfully his. But he tells them that it could be that God is finished with him as king, and that God himself will decide who will take charge. I guess we could call this 'letting go of control'.
David wrote songs and poetry as a hobby - a diary of sorts - and at this particular time he wrote Psalms chapter 3. It's interesting to see behind the man, and what it was that drove him. I've already mentioned that the first thing he did was to refuse to defend what God could easily take from him. He starts off this song by saying, "I have a lot of enemies, Lord". He called a spade a spade, didn't he? And he told God exactly how he felt. But then he calls on old truths which he knew were still true, despite the facts and despite his feelings - truths like, 1. You are my shield 2. You answer my prayers 3. I am not afraid
In essence he was making a declaration, God, you are in control! And part of that truth means that I don't have to be in control to make things work out for me.
Think about these things.
Talk soon . . .
