What love is . . .

There's a story told of a young teenage girl sitting in her lounge room watching TV when she heard voices in the kitchen. She stood up from the lounge to see what the noise was and saw her mum and dad having a kiss and a cuddle, thinking they were on their own. She just watched them for a while, moved quietly nearer to them, then just stood and watched. When the affectionate couple separated for a moment they spotted their daughter just studying them without saying anything. Dad says to her (a little embarrassed), 'I didn't know you were here. Why are you staring?' She innocently answered with the line from that famous song by the band Foreigner, 'I want to know what love is.'

If she were trying to be funny you could understand the quote. But she wasn't being funny. She revealed what must be a consuming, un-asked question for some; especially our kids - What is Love, really?

If you are a thinking person then there are some things we can rule out:

1. Love isn't sex. By the time a child is out of their teens they must have witnessed hundreds of bedrooms scenes from TV, magazines, Internet, or wherever. They will have put it together that these people are actors or models simply acting a part for profit, or some other reason that was never intended to portray what love really is.

(Sadly, for many young people, Sex has become a currency in our society to barter with; to give and get what you want. And adults are mostly to blame, I believe)

2. Love isn't marriage. Being married doesn't guarantee you're in love with the one you're married to. Again, kids see married people go their separate ways, get divorced, fight like cats and dogs, or live together and not speak to each other for days on end.

3. Love isn't temporary. By this I mean that we are surrounded by a disposable culture. We throw away so many things that once we used to keep for another purpose. Things from cutlery to jewelry to razor blades; from cheap clothing to music to fast food - here one day and gone the next. We read a headline and see some photos of a glamorous couple last week at a holiday resort. Then this week we see another photo and story of them fighting, or accused of being with someone else.

There is a definitive statement in the New Testament that was written in a letter almost 2,000 years ago to Christians throughout the known world. It reads:

This is real love - not that we loved God, but that he loved us . . . " (1 John 4:10 NLT)

In other words, put aside all your ideas about what love is and listen to this! This is the measuring stick! Let's face it, when we think of what love is we look to human love, don't we? We look at how we love and how others love us. The context of this part of the letter describes love as giving, sacrificing, committed, and personal. And the example is Jesus, who willingly and purposefully died so that our sins could be removed, and there would be nothing stopping us from coming to God, pure and forgiven.

What a great opportunity to learn his ways, and teach them to our children.

But to give something away you must first have it yourself.

So how can I 'get' this love? Well, this is where the New Testament breaks it down for us, to help us get a handle on it.

(The first thing we need to do, I believe, is to start being honest with our heavenly father, and connect with him. But I won't go into that here; I've written other blogs to help with that).

In another New Testament letter, written to the church in Corinth, Paul explains how we can start doing love better (1 Cor 13). He writes, Love is patient and kind . .

There you go; when you are patient with someone you are actually showing God's love to them. When you are kind to someone you are showing God's kindness to them.

Can you see how this can be practiced by anyone? Some will make excuses and say, I'm just not a real loving kind of person, it's not one of my strengths. (I don't believe that. If that's you, be careful you don't disobey the greatest commandment of all).

Verse 5 says, Love doesn't demand it's own way. This is another thing anyone can practice. When you are not demanding you are showing God's love.

Again in verse 5, Love keeps no record of being wronged. I think we would all have some stories about this! We know how to keep records, don't we? But the Bible teaches that when you refuse to keep a record you show the love of God.

And so the list goes on in the letter. The last one mentioned is, Love is enduring (verse 7).

Love isn't temporary. That's why the act of committing yourself to love someone thru thick and thin is an act of God's love, and gives them a sense of security that is priceless. It can't be bought for any amount of money! Which is exactly what God did for us, and displayed his love to us in Jesus. He loves us when we are unlovable. His love is enduring. His love is patient with us. He has shown kindness to us. He doesn't keep a record of our wrongs when we come to him and say we're sorry.

All these things can be practiced and fine-tuned by all of us toward each other. At home, at work, at the shopping centre, on the road, etc.

As far as marriage is concerned, when two people are looking out for each other's best interests, and determined to show kindness, and be patient with each other, and don't keep a record of wrongs against each other, then the benefits are simply wonderful. Sex takes on a whole new meaning of togetherness and sharing. And peace in the home can be experienced no matter how much money you have, or how affluent you are.

This is real love - not that we loved God, but that he loved us . . .

Talk soon . . .