A new picture frame . . .

I once saw one of those TV shows where they show you real footage of people doing stupid things caught on camera. There was this lady who had stopped her car on the freeway and decided to get out and walk toward the oncoming traffic. At first glance you would have to agree that this is a silly thing to do. But what if you could get a second glance? What if there was a another story behind this lady's actions?

A producer of this program apparently did some research about the story and found out that the lady had just lost her second child in the space of a few years, and was totally overcome with grief. She had got in her car and just "zoned out" while she was driving, got out of the car, unconscious of her surroundings, and went for a walk.

In his book 'Jesus the fool', Michael Frost talks about a concept he calls, 'Reframing'. It's when you see someone, or something, in a different light to the first time you saw it. In this case the woman was considered to be doing something stupid when we didn't see all the facts. But when you hear about her grief, and the incredible sense of loss she must be feeling, we have compassion on her and understand her predicament a little better. Not too many of us have lost 2 children to sickness, but most of us can appreciate that it would bring a terrible strain on your emotions. This is called 'Reframing' her story.

When it comes to God, I believe that he did some 'reframing' with us as human beings. In the New Testament in Romans 5 verse 6 it says that 'Jesus Christ died for us at a time when we were helpless and sinful' (cev). Some think that God sits in the heavens on a big throne just waiting to punish us with a big stick when we get it wrong. But I don't believe this. We all have a story. We all have a bunch of history, and things that have shaped us and made us who we are today. Some of our past is good, some of it is nasty, and some of it is best left in the past where it belongs. The past events of our lives shape us, and mould us into who we've become, and much of it has been out of our control. Like the woman in this story: she could do nothing to save her children, but it shaped her life from the moment she lost them. It would be wrong of us to think she could simply continue on as normal as before. This, I believe, is how God sees us - helpless. Today this word means you're a loser; but what it really means is that you simply cannot do anything to help yourself! And I think this is exactly where God wants us - so that He can help us. Again in the NT in Hebrews 4 verse 15 the Bible describes Jesus like this: Jesus understands every weakness of ours, because he was tempted in every way that we are . . . And then in verse 16, So whenever we are in need, we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful God. There we will be treated with undeserved kindness, and we will find help.

I do believe that God frames our stories perfectly, and understands our helplessness. Read it again: does this sound like the angry judge I mentioned earlier? I think that some of us have our picture of God totally screwed up.

Maybe we can do something positive about this and 'reframe' our concept of who God is. I believe that he is compassionate toward us, and is touched by our failures and weaknesses.

Talk soon . . .

Am I OK with God . . . ?

Sometimes I think that our search for life's meaning, and spiritual satisfaction could be summed up in the question: Does God like me? Imagine if God showed up in the middle of your working day and said, Hey, do you know that I really like you? For me, I know that it would grab my attention immediately. I have heard all my life that he "loves" me; (songs like Jesus loves the little children, etc) but the word like seems to suggest more than an obligation to put up with me. And let me tell you, sometimes I feel like God has to put up with a lot from me. My thoughts stink at times; sometimes my attitude towards others is best kept inside my head; many times I don't want to do the good things I know I should do. And this is just to name a few of my struggles. I imagine if we had a complaints forum online (maybe there is one) we would have a multitude of personal struggles and self-loathings listed! And for many of us who believe there is a personal God somewhere the question that concerns us is, Am I OK with God?
I continually come back to something that Jesus said, and that I've written here before. In fact, it's the whole reason for this blog. It's found in the New Testament in Matthew 12: 28-30.

Come to me, all of you who are tired and are carrying heavy loads. I will give you rest. Become my servants and learn from me. I am gentle and free of pride. You will find rest for your souls. Serving me is easy, and my load is light. (NIRV)

I am totally convinced of the fact that God likes me. And I also believe Jesus' words when he said in John 14 that he came to show us exactly what God is like. Take another look at his words above: Serving me is easy, and my load is light. Is serving God and Jesus a chore for you? Do you find the load too heavy in your service for Jesus? Are you continually plagued with questions about his love for you, or acceptance of you? Do you fall in and out of love for the Lord all the time? (He doesn't fall in and out of love for you!) Listen to God's words written to his people 2,500 years ago:
I love you people with a love that will last forever. That is why I have continued showing you kindness. (Jeremiah 31:3 NCV)
As far as I am concerned these are words to live by; words to base my whole life on. If you answer yes to some of the above questions, then you may be relating to God as a servant or slave, and not as a son or daughter. As a slave you will experience continual weariness in your service for him. But as a son or daughter you can enjoy all the benefits of the palace - especially the pleasure of knowing his pleasure for you.
Talk soon . . .

Out of Control . . . 3

In Matthew 14 in the New Testament there’s another example of someone being “out of control”. This time it’s the big fisherman named Peter who’s the central character, but I think he’s O.K. with the situation.
Once again a boatload of Jesus’ followers is doing what he’d told them to do: sailing to the other side of The Sea of Galilee. (He told them he would see them on the other side). And once again the weather turns nasty a few hours into the trip, and the men are struggling to keep the boat afloat.
Someone looks up above the distant waves and sees what he thinks is a ghost moving toward them on top of the water. For a few minutes they’re terrified, until the “Ghost” calls out to them. He says 3 things:
1. Don’t be afraid
2. It’s me
3. Be courageous
Who was it? Or what was this thing, saying, Don’t be afraid, it’s me?
If you know the end of this story, then switch your knowledge off for a moment. Now try and put yourself in the boat with these men. To see someone walking on water must have played with their senses. Try it: we all know that it can’t be done! You could say that their predictable world just became unpredictable. On a similar occasion when Jesus calmed a stormy sea someone said quietly, Who is this man who can do these things?
Personally, I don’t think we do unpredictable very well. Generally speaking I think that we like to know when and how things are going to happen. We like to be in control. But tell me: how is a supernatural God going to get your attention if you think he is entirely predictable?
If we were there in the boat that day we would have heard Jesus say, in his language, “The I Am is here”. In other words, Jesus was saying, I am in total control of the water, the boat, the waves, and the outcome. And I’m here. But you need to trust me, and not be afraid. In fact, he didn’t just say don’t be afraid, but he also said, be courageous. I think that means going on the offensive! Act and speak like you’re not afraid. Let your talk be like Jesus is in control.
Now Peter is about to put his own faith to the test. After Jesus says this, Peter calls out, Lord if it’s really you then call me to come out to you on the water. (I think that I’ve heard this story so many times it’s lost its ‘wonder’ factor). This is an amazing request when you think about it. Don’t miss the amazing, incredible, and ridiculous thing he’s saying. He wants to get out of the boat and walk on the water! You and I may have heard this story many times but for Peter this is a first, I’m sure! He is actually requesting an ‘out of control’ experience.
I don’t know what Peter’s personal life was like, but I can’t help but wonder if he was simply fed up with the mundane, predictable, day to day experiences that made up his life? I wonder if his unspoken prayer was something like: Jesus, I’m tired of the predictable. If you call me – If I hear you say my name, I’m going to get out of a perfectly good boat and walk with you on top of the water.
We can’t know for sure what was going on in his head, but we do know that Jesus did call him, and Peter did get out of the boat, and did walk on top of the water.
This blog has nothing to do with telling people to try walking on water, but it has everything to do with doing what Jesus is inviting you to do. If you don’t believe Jesus is who he said he was then this isn’t for you. But if you are a believer then you may need to realise that Jesus may be inviting you to get “out of control”, and out of your depth, because he himself might be waiting for you in the stormy weather. You may have to answer the question: Do I want to stay 'safe', or do I want to be where Jesus is?
Talk soon . . . dmd

Out of Control . . . 2

The most terrifying thing for a sailor or fisherman is to be lost at sea, or being at the mercy of a violent storm. This is what happened to some of Jesus’ friends, recorded in Mark chapter 4 in the New Testament. It doesn’t get more out of control than that. In this account there are several boats that have gone to sea in good sailing conditions, only to find that the weather turns nasty. Try and put yourself in their position, not knowing the end of the story. The people in these boats have an idea that Jesus is someone a bit different to them, but they haven’t seen him in this environment before. To put it briefly, these are experienced fishermen who have sailed these waters their whole lives, and now they are terrified of drowning.
Most of us have had thoughts about drowning. When I was a kid I used to say that if it happened to me I would hold my breath and die on my own terms rather than drown. But then I’d think, what if I get out of this? I’d want to be conscious, wouldn’t I? Strange thoughts I know, but it does highlight the whole ‘wanting to be in control’ thing. Many of us are born with our fists clenched, apparently, and it seems that we are born determined to take control right from the start of our lives. Just like the Westlife song goes, “I want to live”.
The most interesting thing about this whole event is that Jesus sleeps thru the whole thing. He’s the one who suggested they sail to the other side of the lake in the first place! Question: Why do we so quickly panic when things appear to be out of control? If Jesus has promised to never leave us why do we spin out, thinking that life is going to drown us?
Think about your own children. We raise them to eventually stand on their own two feet and not depend on us in every situation, don’t we? So how will a kid learn to swim without knowing the feeling of being out of control in an uncertain environment? They can’t, of course. You can’t leave someone in the classroom to learn to swim! Eventually you have to get in the water and face the fear of drowning.
Again let me ask the question: If Jesus has promised to never leave us why do we panic when situations terrify us? I’m going to suggest that the answer is simple: We don’t trust him. Either we don’t trust him that he’ll never leave us, or we don’t trust that he can look after us. Either way it’s a test of our faith in his promise – I think it’s that simple.
If this describes you then I think that it’s important to stop for a moment and consider this. You can’t simply go on from here and keep living the way you do because life will continue to dish up uncertainties and storms. It was Jesus who said, "The truth will set you free". So tell the truth. Ask yourself: Jesus, do I really trust you? Have I learned to live without you? Is my life full of 'things' that I can control to the point where I really don’t need you at all?
These are confronting questions I know. But they are at the very core of your Christianity. If I lost my health, my freedom, my friends, my Bible, my job; would I spin out and lose my faith completely? Or would I be able to take a quick look around, and although Jesus may appear to be asleep somewhere, know that he is with me, and that he will never me?

Talk soon. . . dmd

Out of Control . . .

One of my darkest memories as a kid was when my 3rd grade teacher laughed at me because my feet didn't reach the ground at my school desk. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't in the middle of class where 20 other kids joined in the humiliation. And to make it worse, the next day he brought in a little wooden footrest - which he displayed to the whole class - so that I could rest my feet on it. As a 7 year old I didn't understand the concept of being out of control of my life, but I certainly understood what humiliation was. Being humiliated is being out of control. A child has no way of steering the conversation, pulling the wheel, or navigating their way out of these 'controlled' environments.

Victims of crime can explain to us that feeling of helplessness as someone else bigger, or stronger, dictates the outcome they want. Victims of abuse know all about being out of control, where someone with the muscle, or the authority, holds all the aces. Parents know what it's like to helplessly watch their children make bad decisions, knowing there is nothing they can do about it, and knowing that only 'The School of Hard Knocks' will be the teacher. No one enjoys this feeling. Whether it's the playground, the classroom, the office, or the bedroom, no one likes to endure this powerlessness.


I believe there is built into each of us a God given desire to have control of our lives. Of course, as children we are dependant on parents and carers to protect and guide us toward our futures, but sooner or later we develop a sense that we want to see things unfold the way we want them to.

The central character of my last blog, King David of Israel, is again a prime example of having to deal with this.

One of his sons, Absalom, has decided he wants to be king instead of his father. This is no small feat, seeing he wasn't the oldest boy and the real king wasn't dead yet! The whole account is found in the Bible from 2 Samuel chapter 15, but I'll just take the highlights out of it.

Absalom was a very patient young man. Unfortunately this wasn't a good quality in him, but rather a cunning patience, with his only goal being a king in total control over his subjects. His Father, David had become king reluctantly after years of trial and hardship which taught him about human failure and compassion. But Absalom wanted only the gold, the girls, and the glory.

Absalom spent at least 4 years planning his coup, and 4 years planting doubts about the kings ability to rule the land. He spoke secretly with family leaders, bodyguards, palace officials, and anyone who would listen. He slowly but surely gave them an alternative to his father as ruler, making it look much better than it ever could have been. We've seen this in many modern day nations where some military leader gets it in his head to become President or Prime Minister, and gets the army onside and topples the government. Absalom did this same thing, except he did it over a longer period of time without the violence.

One day when he felt he had the numbers and the support he made his move. He had positioned significant people around the country to proclaim his Kingship at the same time, thereby toppling his father.

But Absalom hadn't factored in 2 important things: 1. There were many people in the nation who would remain faithful to the chosen king. And 2. His father trusted the God of heaven over and above his own ability to remain king. King David makes a baffling decision recorded in chapter 15 verse 14 (Baffling to some people, that is) - He leaves the Capital. He knew that his son would resort to violence to enforce his rule so David leaves, and thereby sparing the population a war. (Can you imagine if this principle were used both in the home, and all the way to the world political scene? It makes me realise how powerful Jesus' words were when He said, "Blessed are those who make peace" Matthew 5). Some of his faithful military people told him to stay and fight for what was rightfully his. But he tells them that it could be that God is finished with him as king, and that God himself will decide who will take charge. I guess we could call this 'letting go of control'.
David wrote songs and poetry as a hobby - a diary of sorts - and at this particular time he wrote Psalms chapter 3. It's interesting to see behind the man, and what it was that drove him. I've already mentioned that the first thing he did was to refuse to defend what God could easily take from him. He starts off this song by saying, "I have a lot of enemies, Lord". He called a spade a spade, didn't he? And he told God exactly how he felt. But then he calls on old truths which he knew were still true, despite the facts and despite his feelings - truths like, 1. You are my shield 2. You answer my prayers 3. I am not afraid
In essence he was making a declaration, God, you are in control! And part of that truth means that I don't have to be in control to make things work out for me.
Think about these things.
Talk soon . . .

What if . . . .

Have you ever said this? "What if I . . . "? Or, "If only I . . . "?

Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda. These 3 words describe our feelings when something goes south, or we muck up some part of our lives, or we miss out on some fantastic opportunity that happened to someone else. We think we coulda done it differently, or shoulda said such and such.

Some counsellors and psychologists say that if we focus too much on regret (what if, or if only) it can cripple us emotionally, and stop us from getting on with the next phase of life. I think one of the reasons we regret is because we never truly mean to stuff things up so badly. We say something awful in a moment of anger, or worse we act out some nasty deed that we never would have done if we thought it through long enough.

Someone said, "Instant gratification is short lived and full of regret". That's true isn't it? We say or do stuff sometimes because we're angry and want to do something to hurt someone, thinking it will 'even the score'. But it never really evens the score does it? Somebody else's hurt can never fix your own hurt, I believe.

In these moments of madness it's hard to believe what Jesus promised when he said,
God blesses those people who make peace. They will be called his children! (Matthew 5:9 CEV)

How do you handle your regrets?

Let me show what one man did many years ago. His name was David, and he was the King of Israel around 1000 years B.C. He saw a beautiful woman named Bathsheba bathing and wanted her. He ordered her to the palace and had sex with her. (Whether she was a willing partner or not is not important at this time). She was a married woman and so David had her husband moved to the front lines in the war and he was killed. He then had the woman move in to the palace and he married her.

In the following months God sent a prophet to rebuke David and tell him that God wouldn't let his actions remain a secret, but would expose him for the sins he'd done. David asked for, and received, God's forgiveness. (This is a whole other story in itself which is worth reflecting on, but not right now in this post).

Now Bathsheba was already pregnant with the King's child. After the little boy was born he got very sick, and after 7 days, he died. During these 7 days David lay on the ground, had been fasting, didn't bath himself, didn't shave, ignored his appearance, and generally (it seems) hated himself for what he'd done.

The Bible records that after the child died David got up off the floor and bathed, shaved, did his hair, and started eating again. The palace servants didn't understand him at all. They said to him, "while the child was alive you neglected yourself; but now the child is dead you start living at though nothing bad has happened".

King David's reply here is the key, and the best way to move on from painful regrets, I believe. He said, "While the boy was alive, I went without food and cried because there was still hope. I said to myself, 'Who knows? Maybe the LORD will have pity on me and let the child live.' But now that he's dead, why should I go without eating? I can't bring him back! Someday I will join him in death, but he can't return to me".
There are 2 things here that I think are crucial to moving on:

1. Accept the fact that what's done is done. No matter how spiritual you are, or how sorry you feel about your mistakes, there are some things you can't change. Generally speaking the past is one thing you can't change.

2. Get on with the normal things of life. This means getting out of bed, going to work, looking after yourself, and living peacefully with those around you.

A 3rd thing that I personally would do is this: Never underestimate what God can do with your mistakes! He has a miraculous ability to sew your failures into your life's plan and make something beautiful out of something ugly! If you've ever looked at the back of a piece of tapestry you'll see the mess is all behind the picture, away from what is seen. I think that if we can get some of these things in place we will be amazed at what our life's story will say one day.
Talk soon . . .
The whole account of David's sins and restoration is found in the Bible in 2 Samuel 11 & 12 (NIV).

Life without HOPE . . .

They say that hindsight is perfect, or hindsight is 20/20. Former British Prime minister, Margaret Thatcher made the famous quote, "The wisdom of hindsight, so useful to historians and . . . authors . . . is sadly denied to practicing politicians." Sadly, it's also denied to the average person in the street. Think about it: how many of us, given the opportunity to do something again would do it differently? Of course we all have regrets about the way we did some particular thing that didn't achieve the desired outcome. Some of those things are not all that important, and we can live with the regret. But other regrets are not so easy to live with. Especially when you live with the result right in front of you day after day.

I once read an article by a Mum whose middle aged son killed himself. She said the thing that ate him up day after day was how he had messed up his marriage, and his kids lives, and felt he had no way of undoing it. This is truly what we would call hopelessness.

I think that suicide must seem like the best option (or only option) for some who are weighed down with regrets. Hopelessness is a terrible master! Most of us have a genuine sorrow over things we've stuffed up, and feel powerless when we can't 'fix' it. It's this powerlessness that grinds us into sorrow and despair to the point where we see no other way to move on with life.

(Let me digress for a moment. The whole subject of suicide is taboo for some. I've read that some consider suicide as the unforgivable sin. In past times when cemeteries were built next to church grounds people who took their own life were sometimes not permitted to be buried in the same ground as regular folk who died of natural causes. The thought was that the taking of your own life registers too high on God's list of things that can't be forgiven. I don't pretend to be a theologian, but I don't know where this teaching is found in the Bible. Maybe the people who made these rules up didn't know what it was like to be so downtrodden with life's crap that there seemed to be no other way out but exiting. To think that God sees my hurt, and doesn't understand, and have compassion, is preposterous!)

But I have found that there is a way to move on! It's called forgiveness. There is a famous quote from Paul of Tarsus in the Bible that says, " . . but (this) one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead . . " (Philippians 4:13 NKJV)

This man Paul had a whole bunch of things in his past that could have torn him apart with regret. He had ordered the death and imprisonment of many men, women, and children whose only guilt was to disagree with his religion. He did this fanatically over a period of time. But he found forgiveness. His past, and his regrets, could have crushed him with paralyzing guilt, and forced him to despair. But he found forgiveness in Jesus. At first he didn't think this could even be possible, for God to forgive him for treating His people so badly. But then he met Jesus and realized that there was nothing that he had done that couldn't be forgiven.

If you read the whole passage from Paul's letter above, you'll see that he mentions 2 things: forgiveness and forgetting. Now comes the hard part - actually forgetting your past. Here's the trick: we can't really forget the past without a lobotomy, can we? Common sense tells us that we will always be able to remember our past. So how can we be expected to do something that isn't possible to do? Here is the difference between knowing about forgiveness to experiencing it. The New Testament teaches that when we ask God to forgive our past sins and failures he deals with them permanently. Just because we remember our sins doesn't mean they're not dealt with. This is where faith comes into it; and I maintain that until you know Jesus personally you will never fully appreciate the power of forgiveness. I'm not talking about the mere knowledge of it, but the powerful ability to look our past squarely in the eye and realise that it cannot control my future. In fact, if the Bible can be trusted, it clearly teaches that God chooses to wash our sins away permanently so that nothing stands between us and all that he has for us. It teaches that Jesus was the perfect sacrifice for sin, to deal with it once and for all. As far as God is concerned our sins don't exist anymore! That's what the word "gospel" means - good news.

I've included a link at the bottom of this blog. It's the lyrics of a song that Don Fransisco wrote called, "Too Small a Price". It's the story of one of the criminals who was crucified alongside Jesus. It's a powerful song of forgiveness, and a second chance, even when you're at death's door.
Bye for now . . .
http://www.streetdirectory.com/lyricadvisor/song/uulffl/too_small_a_pricejoy/